Step 1: Be a Candy
Remember, you must be poor but plucky, working a multitude of small-paying part-time jobs and living in cramped rooftop apartment. You must be absolutely wallowing in debt you've inherited, yet still face each coming day with a brave smile and optimistic, can-do attitude. Family's a no-no, unless it's a) your beloved father in a coma he won't wake up from, whose expensive hospital bills you must pay, b) an evil stepsister who devotes her every spare moment to making your life hell, or c) a missing brother you worry about and look for, but who will only conveniently reappear at the end to alleviate any worries about your right to be happy or the potentially incestuous nature of your romance. Do try and have one female friend you will be able to turn to for relationship advice in the future. Her advice will always be terrible, but that won't matter, she's just there to point out that you like your romantic lead before you're willing to admit it yourself. Don't worry if she's better at makeup and fashion than you are. Although you will always complain about being poor and ugly, you will be effortlessly beautiful at all times, your clothes will always be name-brand, and as a bonus, your cell phone will always be the newest model. On the flip side, I hope you like subway.
Step 2: Meet Cute
It's time to meet the love of your life! Now, he must be strikingly handsome, impossibly rich, and, most importantly, an apparently ice-cold bastard (don't worry, he's actually a giant softie hiding a tragic past behind those barriers and just waiting for the right girl to come along and teach him the power of love. We'll get to that in Step 3). Remember, it's important you meet in an unplanned, painfully awkward way that leaves him with a strong distaste for you. Tried and true methods include forcing him to give you a lift in the rain, throwing up on him during a plane ride, or tripping and making him catch you in one smooth graceful movement while his important papers for that big meeting that will define the rest of his life go flying. He should abandon you/make loud noises of despair and disgust/drop you at the earliest possible moment. Congratulations! You are now fated to be. Don't forget to call him a rude bastard once he's gone!
Step 3: Forced Proximity
The most important step. Somehow or other, you and the One must be forced to spend copious amounts of time together. This can be for almost any reason--maybe you've started working at his company, maybe you two enter a contract relationship for whatever reason (usually it's to get his matchmaking mother off his back, but bonus points if he wants one of your organs or its his crackpot grandfather's idea), maybe he moves into your house against your protests because he's being hounded by reporters and needs a place to hide. Regardless of the whys, you are now obligated to breathe each other's air for large quantities of time. Don't worry if it leads to a plenty of friction initially--that's normal! Soon, you'll realize all that bickering you do is actually cover for your simmering sexual tension. Arguments will now end with long, lingering gazes at each others lips. Curse words will start to be endearments. You will both quickly realize how noble and kind the other actually is, despite misleading first impressions. To hasten this process, I suggest shared babysitting sessions, eating homecooked meals at your table (don't be surprised if he's never had a homecooked meal before--his parents have usually never had time for him, and he will probably burst into spontaneous tears over the first mouthful), and drinking beer together on your rooftop, star-gazing. These situations are very conducive to deep conversations that don't seem to have much context--don't worry about that. You are Baring Your Souls to each other, an important part of the process. If you get the chance to be in a life-endangering situation, seize it, so he can rescue you dramatically, and then reproach you for being foolish, thus revealing how deeply he does actually care.
Step 4: Jealousy
Right about now, his First Love should reappear on the scene. She will be, without a doubt, Unpleasant, especially to you, since she will sense how close you and the One have become merely by witnessing you two laughing together as you walk care-freely down the street (I suggest you be coming back from something he originally protested was for children--an amusement park, perhaps--but which he came to deeply enjoy. Be eating ice cream and get some on his nose for added effect, as his playful retaliation will reek of repressed emotions). He, however, will not be able to see this, and will instead be incredibly confused by her reappearance. He will try very hard to reconnect with her, refusing to believe he has changed since meeting you (a lamentably useless denial, since everyone else can clearly see, and frequently mentions, how much nicer he seems). This will be a bleak time for you, as you will be deeply saddened by his apparent affection for Another. Luckily for you, the Second Lead will be around to catch you! He will have been a neighbor, co-worker, or someone you viewed as a kid brother. He will do everything in his power to be there for you, though he will never explicitly state his affection (don't worry, second leads never do). Unfortunately, nothing will cheer you up. You will be constantly reminded of the One by strangely specific things--a cup of coffee, a floating balloon, a teddy bear--immediately saddening you. Don't be too downcast! Unbeknownst to you, the One will witness you apparently being happy with the Second Lead and be absolutely consumed by an ironic jealousy, leading him to do all kinds of delightfully petty things you own't understand and find peculiar.
Step 5: The Kiss
Good job, you've made it to your hallmark moment, the one that that will set the seal on your relationship with the One, affirming you will survive any and every obstacle thrown at you (there will be many), and haunt you in a series of never ending flashbacks for the rest of your romantic life! The One has finally been pushed to the breaking point, and is no longer able to deny the strength of his passion. Depending on the sub-species of drama hero you have acquired, the kiss may take one of several shapes. It may be exquisitely planned, with fireworks, roses, and a heart-stopping declaration of love. More frequently, it is a surprise to both of you, the culmination of weeks of building tension. You will always be in a beautiful location. You will always look stunning. He will always look stunning. You will probably have been fighting immediately before. When he kisses you, remember to stand stiffly, staring transfixed before you with shock. If emotions are especially wrought, you may cry, so that he may wipe the tears away with his fingers. . If you're unlucky, you might not remember this first kiss due to temporary ghostly possession or his penchant for freezing time at significant moments. But odds are that means you get a second first kiss! Who doesn't love that? And on the positive side, from now on, the One will be incredibly sweet, self-sacrificing, and adoring. He will not in any possible way resemble the man you first met. Except he will still be smoking hot. Savor this moment, because you will shortly be very unhappy indeed
Step 6: The Obstacles
I warned you they were coming, didn't I? Because now that you and the One have kissed and thus declared your undying passion for each other, his family will rise up in protest. They will seek to humiliate you at every opportunity, try to bribe you to leave him with money (you must be deeply affronted by this, and bravely choking back your tears, condemn them for not realizing you have pride and that not everything can be bought), and/or destroy your life by any possible means. I would suggest investing in insurance, because you are about to be kicked out of your home, lose your job and gangsters will shortly corner you in alleyway (don't worry, the One will save you, if only so he can berate himself later for bringing all this down on your head). If he has no family (this is rare, and means he is either an alien, a time-traveler, or a cartoon character transported to your world by an unexplained deus ex machina), he will realize that he will soon be compelled to return to his planet/time/dimension by impenetrable forces, leaving you vulnerable to the enemies he has made on your planet/time/dimension who will seek vengeance on you as soon as his back is turned.
Step 7: The Noble Idiocy
Sigh. It's unavoidable, so grind your teeth now and get it over with. The One, deciding that somehow he is making your life miserable/endangering you, will decide to leave you. He won't explain why--instead, he'll give you a terrible reason for leaving. Usually it's something far more stupid and hurtful, like he never actually loved you and that you were just an amusement. He will then vanish from your life, returning to his original sphere like he never left it, and plunging everyone's life into untold clouds of freaking gloom. Go ahead and sob, no one's judging you. It's not your fault your boyfriend makes shitty decisions like a little kid instead of talking things over with you like an adult. If it makes you feel better, he's even more miserable, and he spends an ungodly amount of time staring at the little trinket you gave him that one time, pining for days gone by. If it wasn't so stupid, it would be hilarious.
Step 8: The Reunion
You will unexpectedly bump into each other on the street or at the office, and he will gaze at you soulfully. You will turn away, still deeply hurt by his abandonment, but it's all going to be ok, because now having seen you in person once more, all the moronic reasons this seemed like a good idea to him in the first place will become irrelevant and he will start popping up in your life like a toadstool, giving you the chance to exact petty but oh-so-satisfying vengeance if you so desire. I suggest so desiring. It's massively entertaining. But only push him to the point where he confesses why he left in the first place, and then melt like the marshmallow you are. You may have to chase after him in the rain, but it's fine--it will provide a particularly striking backdrop to your makeup kiss and give him the opportunity to shelter you with his umbrella, letting himself get unnecessarily soaked in the process (he'll probably be ill afterwards and collapse, but don't worry. Let him lie in bed a few days, with a saline solution and spoon feed him porridge and he'll be right as rain. Er. No pun intended.)
Step 9: The Final Problem
Everything that came before was build-up for this, and now you must face down whatever issue has cast a cloud over your fated relationship all this time. Is one of you dying? Has one of you promised to go to jail for the other? Has his family threatened to disinherit him if he continues to see you? Fret not, everything will be magically cleared away. There will be a miracle cure, a guns drawn showdown where the actual murderer is finally caught, or his domineering father will have a stroke and become a much kinder, gentler person. Along the way, it will be revealed that you and the One actually met as children, either only briefly or were best friends until one of you moved/lost your family/faked your own death, and in reality are each other's long forgotten First Loves. Smell that? That's Fate. Finally, you're almost there!
Step 10: The Ending
This is the trickiest part to pull off, but having made it this far, I'm sure you can do it. It's clear to you and to everyone else you and the One will be together forever now. Nothing can tear you apart. But do you want to get married right away in a big, beautiful ceremony? Do you want to date for awhile, spending a lot of time sitting in front of beautiful sunsets with the One? Do you choose to inexplicably study abroad for a brief period of time, returning only then to fully consummate your love? The choice is yours, but whatever you choose, you've earned a stunning conclusion to all your suffering.
*not applicable to sageuk storylines which are more inclined to heavily feature torture, blood feuds, hanboks, flowing hair, horses, and reincarnation. See my Ten Steps to Surviving a Sageuk for that one.
omg dose this really work????I need to knowwww omg ty ty ty soo much I have been a fan of Korean drama for a Rea;;y long time now and I was wondering if it would work
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